Wife receives a divorce letter from husband

Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.

Your letter made my day. While we’ve been married for seven years, you’ve hardly been a good husband.

I watch TV to drown out your constant complaints. I noticed your haircut but thought you looked like a girl, so I kept quiet. And about the meal—you must be confused; I haven’t eaten pork in years.

As for those new silk boxers, I saw the price tag and wondered if my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.

Despite everything, I still loved you and hoped we could work it out. I even won the lottery for $10 million and planned a trip to Jamaica for us, but you were gone when I got home.

Everything happens for a reason. My lawyer said your letter means you won’t get a dime from me. Good luck with your life!

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich & Free!

P.S. My sister Carla was born Carl. Hope that’s okay!

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